Ok, there has been much clamoring from my fanbase to post something. So, I have decided to ejaculate some genius here. Provide sort of an enlightenment facial. I mean, I hate to disappoint my fans.
Speaking of disappointing fans. Let’s talk about what the WWE did this past Sunday at the Royal Rumble, which has long been my favorite PPV on the calendar. After botching the result last year, much to the dismay of the vast majority of fans over the age of 10, the belief was that the returning Daniel Bryan, the most over wrestler on the roster, would be victorious. However, in about as anti-climatic a way as possible, Bryan was eliminated about half way through the match and after only roughly 10 minutes in the ring. The audience in Philly, seeing the writing on the wall, turned on the presumed winner, and the WWE’s handpicked next star, Roman Reigns. Even a returning Rock couldn’t get the fans on his side after the match.
Now, despite the outcry of the masses, the WWE knows they can pull this type of stunt, or do whatever the fuck else they want to, and us dopes will still fire 55 bucks, or $9.99 if you have the WWE Network, to get the next PPV, or tune in to watch ‘Raw’ and ‘SmackDown’. And why is that?
It’s because there is no viable competition. If you want your professional wrestling fix, it is either gobble up the shit that WWE feeds us a fair amount of the time, or turn to TNA, which just started it’s run on a new network, Destination America. I thought that they only showed people shoving fucking BBQ in their face on that network, but guess I was wrong. And, personally, I’d rather drive to downtown Butler and pay 2 bums 20 dollars and watch them go at it, than watch TNA.
So, here is my plea to any billionaire who is reading this. Please pull a Ted Turner and throw your money at a federation that could be legit competition. That is the only way WWE will be forced to get better. It worked once in the mid 90’s. At the time the NWO was the hottest thing in professional wrestling. WCW was constantly beating the then WWF in the ratings. This forced Vince McMahon to ditch the phony and lame fucking gimmicks his company was trying to sell and amp up the violence and sex and profanity, in order to win back fans. And it worked. Allowing Steve Austin to become Stone Cold instead of The Ringmaster or Rocky Maivia to be born again as simply The Rock. McMahon even embraced this change by dumping his babyface announcer persona and becoming the enemy of Austin, in one of the best storylines in wrestling history. Fans were able to vicariously tell their boss, or other authority figures in their life, to ‘fuck off’.
It was an era of wrestling that is gone, and sadly, will never be seen again in all likelihood. The WWE basically has a monopoly on the professional wrestling industry. And unless somebody with the passion and resources of a Ted Turner steps up, it will remain that way.
Hope everyone enjoyed this. I’ll try to get another one out there soon. Or just become a one-hit wonder like OMC. Imagine a talented writer, who doesn’t realize he’s talented and refuses to share said talent with others…how bizzare?
[Editor’s Note: This was posted by bdmcvick84 on 1/29/15]